the paraguayan reverie

Although typing a post while im here in the US seems a little contrary to the content of this blog up till now, I feel like i should put down for posterity how strange it is being back here.

Week1: I was trying really hard to not speak spanish to people but it didnt always work. Random words like "verdad" or "y" kept popping out of my mouth. Everything seemed strange: the size of cars, the voices on TV, parking lots, snack foods, the way people talked about things that they felt mattered in the context of their lives. Even the decor of restaurants or a chair i might have been sitting in made me feel like id been dropped into some kind of weird dream land. People complained about little things, threw away perfectly good food, sat in front of the football game. Constantly on display for groups of moderately curious people and relatives who asked things like "so how's Paraguay? Is it nice there?" I was freaking out.

Week2: Things seemed more normal, but driving in a car everywhere was getting progressively stranger. Seems like the only people walking the street were the homeless guys lining up in front of the church across the street for food at dinnertime. Parking lots still seemed horribly strange, huge wastelands of asphalt with stunted trees. I wont lie, i like being able to stand in front of a heater for long periods of time and to have everything at the push of a button. But everything seemed to not shine so much, to be a little less real, more effort than substance. Again, I am at a loss to explain what this really means.

Week3: More normal feeling these days, driving in a car feels normal again. Visited the desert which screwed with my head a bit, in that people will voluntarily go out of their way to visit a place where no one naturally would ever find themselves. I bought food in a supermarket for the first time, and was scared by the vegetable washer/sprayers above the produce. All the apples were very shiny, the bananas looked like plastic. I just touched things, not really knowing what to choose. I bought a key chain compass that i thought was very overpriced at 6 dollars, seeing that i could buy a really good meal at a restaurant in PY for that much. I find myself comparing everything in my head, not wanting to spend anything if i can help it. I wonder if this tendency will go away, or if its a good thing that i think twice before buying a candy bar?

more to come..