the paraguayan reverie

back again. Iv´e got a sunburn and a headache right now so im not feeling so great (I am however feeling hot, very hot). Last night i put aloe lotion on my back and then tried to sleep - i couldnt do it. I woke up in the middle of the night literally sleeping in a pool of sweat. I got up to go to the bathroom, and when i came back the side that I´d been sleeping on felt like someone had dumped a half liter of water on the mattress. Im not joking, its that hot even with my big fan going full blast. I bought a sweet new pillow today so maybe now i can get some restful sleep instead of tossing and turning on a lumpy foam bag. I´ve written out a few entries in my analog journal about my feeling like somewhat of a cultural castaway (beware, #1 is about poop and mildly graphic) in that the cultural nuances of this place are finnaly starting to sink in. So here they are:

1. We are connected to our feces

No one really drops rose-scented packages off in the porcelin throne, but here in paraguay there´s really no denying it: we shit shit. Every trip to the pooper is a surprise of consistency, textture and color. This is owing to the fact that flushing the papél sanitario is a no-no for fear of filling up the septic hole-in-the-ground faster than neccesary. Thus, each wipe lands you face to face with the remains of yesterdays dinner or lunch which may or may not be a pleasant sight depending on your predisposition to poop and the quality of said meal. I have certainly viewed enough earthen hues to satisfy the pallate of any begining landscape painter.

Given another site w/ less developed waste desposal systems, i would likely be doing my buisness in a letrine. Letrine is a pretty broad term here in paraguay. It could be a hole in the ground with a few boards over it to a detached room resembling a modern lavatory except for the flushing bit. Typical wiping material may include TP, leaves, or the ever popular corn-cob. Remember, front to back.

2. People make funny noises

Each domesticated animal in paraguay has a different sound associated with it depending if youd like to summon to shoo the beastie:

- dogs: make a sound like you´re kissing something the size of a pea, real high pitched, if you want them to leave you along or get out of your presence. This sound is usually followed by a rock if they dont listen, so most smart dogs will scatter. No one really calls dogs to come.

- cats: Cats dont really listen that well to commands, so most people here just throw something at them to get them to move along. Most cats are called by saying "michi!" in a really high pitched voice.

- cows: put your lips together and buzz them. Now make it a really high pitched buzz. Now make it really short and repeat. This is how to tell cows that they should move or you´re going to hit them with a stick or sandal.

- Pigs: "ushie, ushie!" to shoo usually followed by a sandal.

- Chickens: "ish ish ish!" while swinging a towel at them to get them to disperse. "cheep cheep cheep" to summon.

- Ducks: "pato pato pato" really fast. Ducks dont seem to be too smart here and usually just stand there wagging their rears staring at you. Then they waddle off.

- Children: "Ush!", if they´re doing something bad. Usually only for small children.

3. The freedom to eat freely

It´s not like I wasn´t forced to consume my share of fishsticks and unidentifiable casseroles as a child. I remember hiding peas in my mouth/napkin/pockets while waiting for the opportune moment to sneak the offending legumes off to the bathroom for a quick disposal.

Here in paraguay, it´s as if ive been transported back to those childhood days of figuring out ways to dispose of unpallatatable dishes. How about a delicious plate of battered and fried pig lard, just a big plate of it sitting there slowly pulsating. Do I usually try to eat it? Yeah, but that doesnt mean that I like it.

If you thinhk about american eating habits, self-serve is a very american way to enjoy a meal. Its as if you´re saying, as someone serving to the eater, " I know you can gauge your stomach better than me, so please take whatever serving size of rice with sour cheese that you´d like." But what really gets me here is that little of the food ive eaten here has been consumed of my own free will. I mean, ok, i put the fork with the food on it in my mouth. But its the social pressure that makes eating feel compulsory. I didn´t really want to injest a medio kilo of red bean salad with mayonase sauce, or soup with cow stomach as its defining flavor. So why´d i do it? Because here in paraguay, everything is doled out before it hits the table. Large servings. Don´t like the taste? Too bad; eat up. Thus i typically swallow my pride and dig in.

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I don´t mean to sound overly negative, its just that im starting to really understand the culture a bit better so its interesting to think about it a bit. I also woke up at 4:00am to catch a bus this mornning so im feeling cranky. I´m heading off to asuncion next weekend, so ill make a more proper entry then. Suffice to say that everything is moving along in terms of getting stuff for my new house, and that ill be moving in in about a month from now. Still need to pick up a new matress, a fridge (expensive) and a new fan. And then, after the neccesities, ill need to get a blender and maybe a hammock. I do have to take siestas right? Might as well be in a hammock. Oh, I also saw a brand of paper products in the supermarket today called "snob". It was hilarious so I bought a pack of napkins. Over and out.